Adjusting.....

I can honestly say that there is definitely an adjustment period when you add a new baby in the mix. I think when you have your first child, it's hard because you are learning so much and trying to do your best at everything. When you add a second child, you already know how to do everything baby related, but adjusting to caring for two takes some time. We planned way in advance with talking with Taelyn about the baby and even letting her be involved in everything. She came to every Midwife appointment, helped with the baby registry, picked out baby items, and even attended the birth. There is only so much you can do to prepare though. I was very emotional that first week. We hadn't been away from Tae for more than one night before Hensley was born, but because Hensley was having some heart issues we had to stay longer in the hospital. Tae stayed at my parents' house for 3 nights (she even told my mom that she "guessed she was living there now") and it was hard. Once we got released from the hospital, we picked Tae up and headed home. It probably took a full week to get in the swing of things. Tae seemed to be extra whiny for awhile and you could tell she was having a little bit of a hard time adjusting to not getting all the attention.

While I was pregnant, I kept feeling bad for Tae. I kept asking myself, "what are we doing to her". I remember crying to my husband, telling him that we were going to change who she was and who she would become by having another child (ugh, pregnancy hormones!). I read article after article about how to smooth the adjustment, but I couldn't get over worrying.

Once we were all home together it didn't seem as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yes, she was whinier, and yes she was adjusting, but it wasn't anything like my crazy mind was coming up with. There was one time when I was nursing the baby on the couch and she wanted to lay with me. She got so upset that she couldn't that she started sobbing (not throwing a fit, but super sad and hurt crying). I felt so bad that I started crying. It was hard to see my baby upset and struggling.

After that moment, I have made sure to give Tae extra attention when I'm able. When Hensley is napping, Tae and I will do a craft, play a game, or cook/bake something. Sometimes we will just sit together and I will listen to her (she always has lots to say!). We've made sure we do things with her separately. My husband will take her to the store or he will watch Hensley while I put Tae to bed. I think this has helped a lot.

There has been a lot of sweet moments too! Taelyn is the most caring, gentle, and sweet big sister. You can tell Hensley already adores her because she will just stare at Tae. When she hears Tae's voice, she will turn her head. Tae is always right there to help change her diaper, pat her when she's waking up, get her paci or other things that I need.

It's been six weeks now and we seem to have found our new normal. Yes, Taelyn is different because of being a sister, but different isn't a bad thing. I don't think we ruined her life or did anything that will negatively affect her future. She is a great big sister!

Here are a few tips that I think helped with our adjusting:

1. Be patient...it will take time!
2. Keep your routine and schedule (babies like routines anyways)
3. It's okay to break your routine on occasion (Letting Tae stay up a little later some nights is good for her and less stressful on me)
4. Have some one on one time
5. Let them know you love them
6. Let them know it's okay to be sad
7. Give lots and lots of hugs and kisses
8. Let them help
9. Make them feel important
10. Know that it will get easier!